Ah, my poor neglected blog. If this blog was a dog it would be rescued by the RSPCB (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Blogs). This blog is the equivalent of a starving mange-ridden dog kept chained to a post in a dirty back yard, its fur matted, slipping around in its own filth, shivering with neglect and fear.
I shouldn’t be allowed to keep a blog. All I can do is hang my head in shame.
Like all bad blog owners, I have the usual feeble excuses. I’ve been busy. Too busy to feed your blog, you monster?
I know, I know. What’s so important that you can’t find time now and then to show your blog a little love and attention?
I could promise that I’ll do better in future. But you know and I know that I won’t keep the promise. I might start off on the right track, with an intense, over-compensatory burst of activity. Then gradually, the posts will get shorter, and less frequent, until it tails off into the same old void of nothingness.
It’s a familiar pattern of neglect and blog abuse. I feel bad, full of shame and remorse. But it doesn’t seem that there is anything I can do about it. I’m just a bad person.
What makes it worse is that the only time I show my blog any attention at all is when I want something out of it. When I have something to promote, in other words. And yes, that’s what’s brought me back to it today.
I’m doing an event at Victoria Library in London on Monday 9 June, at 6.00 pm, with DE Meredith and Judith Flanders. The event is called Crimes of the Times and there’s more about it here.
Oh, God, I’m sorry. I feel so terrible. How can you ever forgive me, Blog? I’ll make it up to you, honest I will. Soon, soon, I’ll write in you everyday… I promise…